that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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