that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
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Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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