you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
