Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Sacagawea was the original milf.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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