If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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