I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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