you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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