Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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