Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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