it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
