I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
