I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
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Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize