i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
