i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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