I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize