when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
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The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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