$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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