Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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