She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
