There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
