May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
