Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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