You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i drank out of a bidet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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