kristin has been a bad kristin
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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