Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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