Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
