no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
