So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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