I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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