I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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