you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
