I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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