I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
