Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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