So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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