Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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