Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
