I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
