margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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