No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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