I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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