why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
