We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
