i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize