are you still at the devil's house?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
