Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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