my room smells like sperm. sweet.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
