He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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