it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sorry about my life...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize