We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
