Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize