Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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