To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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