He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
