CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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