So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it's like iHOP with fire
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
