**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
