she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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