We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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