We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
