he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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