I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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